Get your eye-glasses ready

Do we know anyone that was recently arrested and placed in the Lake County Prison? Around 11:30 pm on Thursday night I received a call from the prison. Now, Thursday nights are fun, and I was a view beers into the wind when I got this call. The shock of a machine asking if I wanted to accept charges instead of responding to my "yellllllloooooooooowwwwwwwww?" confused the hell out of me. By the time I tried to listen carefully it said, ....from "mumble mumble (incredibly low voice) mumble, do you accept this call from Lake County Prison?" I was so thrown off I hung up before I knew what happened. After a couple seconds the recent happenings began running through my head and for the life of me I can't make out the name. At first I thought maybe Luke had been arrested and needed bail. But then I thought he knew where I was couldn't go and bail him out. (I figured he was arrested for indecent exposure.) Then a plethora of others flooded my mind, the obvious of course, but to now avail no recognition. That voice of SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO low and deep, it was crazily creepy. I really hope no one I know had to spend a night in jail b/c of my dumbass. Now that I think of it, it was probably Tim.

(Luke just told me to tell everyone Hi.)

Has anyone ever taken a class where there is one guy that drives the entire population absolutely NUTZ? The class is 3rd World Politics and the douche bag sits right in front of me and I am within earshot of all his remarkably poor anecdotes and personal jargon that only a select few of us are graced with. He treats the lecture like a stereotypical Baptist Church Revival you would see on TV. Complete with the halleluiahs and amens. Only he substitutes them for yes, mmhhhmmm, wow I never knew that, that's fascinating, how could we ever do that to someone?...etc. He agrees with EVERYTHING this guy says. I get the idea he believes that this lecture is addressed to him and we are merely hallowed with his grandeur and he merely allows us peasants to sit idly by and listen to his auspiciousness. b/c he responds after every statement. It's becoming unbearable. I can feel my blood pressure rise and the urge to strip his Mickey Mouse watch off his wrist and beat him with it. He looks like an old Rock-A-Billy from the 50's(?). I found this picture and added the thick black glasses, shotty side burns and unreasonably large mustache. He actually wears bow ties, too…but not with suits, with polo’s. His sense of class etiquette really eats away at my soul. He refuses to let others have opinions and repeatedly cuts off the prof in order to insert his views. His voice sounds like that of a cow...if it could talk. Only muted and slightly arrogant, which is ridiculous b/c he's an enormous idiot. I want to kill him in his face.