Ranger Rick Take tu

I have been beside myself as of late because my Ranger Rick (RR) issues haven't been arriving at all! Fortunately, Elisabeth called the main office and nocked some heads around until they figured things out...she's pretty great - she just gave me some new socks too, the best ever!!!! So, here it is, the jokes of RR:


What has antlers and sucks your blodd?


What do you call two spiders that just got married?


What did the sun say when the moon rose and surprised it?


What did one firefly say to the other?

Birthdays are cool....

Ha, there was a theme this year for my birthday, and it involved boogers.

First, was a second time around card from Elisabeth's family! They gave me this card last year because it reminded them of me so much, and when they saw it again, they repurchased it. They actually forgot they gave it to me last year, hahaha. I must really exude boogers.

The inside said, "The more you have the harder it is to breathe."

Then just recently I got this card from my cousin:

It said, "I'm still busy picking out your present!"

Hahahahaha, it was boogerfest during my birthday.

Thanks everyone. My grandfather used to give us a nickle for the red centers.

Olympic Trivia

1. Which U.S. state has never sent a winter olympian?

2. Which U.s. state has sent the most winter olympians?

3. Who is the most well known winter olympian from Ohio?

Ha

This is just down right funny...

They look so serious.

Curling is FULL of Hotties!

I knew it. After seeing the men play, and how hot they were, there had to be hot women...boy was I ever correct! The women's team is hot, they are horrible at curling, but I'm ok with that. Once their photos are up on the page, I'll post them here. Here is the one of their skip though.

Nice.

Get this!

Women's curling will be getting more attention in the coming weeks, but not in a way that many expect. A new international calendar features nude and scantily clad female curlers. The 12 models that participated in the calendar represent curling teams from Denmark, Italy, Spain, England, Poland, Germany and Canada. "Some of the girls showed a little bit more, like breasts, because they wanted to," Arce said of the black-white photos. "But it is very, very tasteful."
However, curling isn't the only sport that's had women posing in comparable calendars. The Canadian women's rugby, water polo and cross-country ski teams all have posed in similar fashion. Can you say, "dream come true?"

Here's the link to buy one.

Olympics are the Shit

I love the Olympics. There are super woot! I usually find myself watching them a ridiculous amount and never sleeping for two full weeks. The opening was neat. Fortunately we missed the first two hours being at the coach's but we did see the lighting of the torch, which is always the best, and it was cool! All those fire works in a circle and led right up to the torch, wow. I also enjoyed the indy car plug, nice donuts duder! The luge is amazing, but I particularly love Curling. It looks so hard and smart.

I'm impressed that all the guys on the American Curling team are crazy in shape, they are all hoties! Infact, as I watch on, every team has strapping men, wow. How do I get into curling?

They have really cool names, like "Skip". That's the captain essentially, guy on left. The game looks so intriguing to me. I am watching it right now actually and am really glad it's on during the evening hours. Last time they broadcasted it, it was from 3am-8am...BULL! We are currently tied with Finland going into the tenth doohickey (frame?). SOMEONE IN THE CROWD HAS WONDER WOOT CURLING HATS!!! The hat is actually a stone, but made out of fabric...holly cow awesome face! Here is a basics sheet for how to learn curling.

The U.S. won silver and gold in the half pipe last night. The guy that won is so funny looking. They call him the "Flying Tomato". The guy on the left won the silver. We are awesome at half piping.

North Carolina

Went to NC this weekend to visit the girl, great fun. We rearranged the apartment and placed Lauren's chair into it. It looks super woot and cozy now, thanks Lauren. (She never reads this though.) While I was there I go to use my hammer from christmas for the first time, ONE nail! It worked wonderfully, who knew!? I was pleased. On Friday night we went to the gym teachers house for a party. His name is Chuck Mar.... (I don't want to post his full name), but when he says it, it sounds EXACTLY like Chuck Norris!! My mouth dropped and I looked at my new friend, Ed, and we began talking about that Chuck Norris website and the top ten list...good times. This guy is known simply as, "Coach." I giggle everytime. He is the typical elementary gym teacher too, SHORT short shorts...hot! His party was outside, it was nice though, only about 50 degrees F. But it was February, which spooked me because I'm used to being very indoors during this time of the year. It was nice, he has three dogs. One that does very lamo tricks but is billed as being the most trick-tastic trick dog ever...nope.

We went to Texas Road House on Saturday night and then had a Nintendo party at the apartment...it was boot fun. I think it's funny when I'm better at gun games then those who should be better. But I was CRUSHING the two military guys that I played against....hoot.

Comatose

That's how I felt last week during midterms and how my blog has looked over the last week. This the longest stretch I've ever gone without a post.
It was an incredibly busy week, much busier than any other term prior. It's better that I am kept busy, because when I'm not, I get awesomely apathetic, which I certain was before midterms. I was a little annoyed with one class in particular, mammalogy. She passed out a review sheet that she claimed would cover the information that will be tested on the exam. Only about 70% of it was true and 30% of the exam was unknown info. Guess what I got?! 73%!! Damn, everything she told us to know, I did and everything that was a surprise, well I guessed 3% correct. Bummer...I was annoyed, but what can I do? This is by far the most intense class I've ever taken, and the exam holds true to that. All is done now and I feel rejuvenated after my trip to NC...I guess Jenn wasn't coming? Now I'm busy and feel ready to finish my checklist before the quarter is over and I graduate.

Thanks Everyone!

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes! It's hard to believe I'm 24. Sometimes I feel so old, others just plain youthfull! Here is a poem sent to me from Dan, thanks man.

Go 'Stopher! Its your birthday! Go 'Stopher! It's your birthday!
you're one year older, one year wiser

rock and roll star, king czar, and a kaiser

a room full of friends, a mouth full of cake

every present is for you and it feels pretty great!

you're the man of the hour, the VIP

you get the first slice, of the P-I-E

so blow out your candles, and make a wish

put a SMILE ON!

CUZ IT'S YO BIRFDAY BITCH!!!!!!!

Luke's pictoral tribute to me a decade ago was...nice, also. Thanks everyone, seriously.

My Favorite Haircut

This was the best ever. All I needed was my dad, the clippers and the purple tuppeware bowl! Cheap, cheap, cheap. I was 14 years old in that photo, that was ten years ago!!

oh man, I'm old now. Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes, I love being called an old man.

Click here.

Uriniation

I love to pee outside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm Not Going To Lie To You

You are my friends, you are my blogging community. So I wiil not lie here. Currently I am drunk and my window is open only about four inches, but I really wish it were open more like 15, MAYBE 16 inches. I keep looking at it. Staring, hoping it opens. Then I thought about Burberry AGAIN. What is wrong with me?!1 Then I started imagining a jack, like a car jack, something that pushes up another thing. I keep imagining this jack, not my cousin jack, but a like a car jakc pushing up my window to 15 or MAYEB 16 inches. If only. Rosanne Bar is on Jay, UGO! Ask Nic what that means.

Professor of Plain

Once while at Hocking I went to a party a friend's place, Gail's, and her boyfriend told me I was the most unremarkable forgettable person he had ever met. He told me I had no rememorable qualities and that I was the MOST FORGEtTABLE PERSON EVER. I've been called a lot of things through my life, but never forgettable. Nothing personal ever came of this and we enjoy each others company, but that has always stuck with me. It makes me laugh. Most of the time I'm told I'm very abrasive, rude, loud, funny or understanding, but never forgettable. Today it was reassured that Dave S. was correct! I walked into my meeting with my senior seminar prof and she started yelling at me. She began with, "Get the hell out of here!! I already told you last week I have two students left." I responded with, "Can I just use the computer like last week?" "No, I have two students left!!!" "You have two students until me?" "Oh, you are in my class" The guy sitting with her, "Yeah, that is Chris. You forget he exists every class and always question his name." "Oh yeah, sorry. I thought you were the other guy that always interrupts me. Have a seat, sorry, you just seem so forgettable." "Fake laughter, no worries."

Turns out Dave was right! She always forgets me and has to ask who I am. She calls every other guy in the class my name when calling on them. It's funny b/c she knows I exist, but can't remember who I am. Ha!

So I Donkey Punched her in the back of the neck so she wouldn't forget my face...BITCH!

(If you don't know what a Donkey Punch is, look it up in the degenerate's dictionary or ask BENAL)

Menopause

I feel like my body is going through menopause as of late. I find that I can't sleep at night but yet that's all I want to do during the day. My appetite is all wacky and unreasonable...it's weird. The last couple of nights I've had to sleep with the window open and get as naked as possible without any covers to feel even the slightest bit comfy. I think it's because I'm starved for a creative outlet. I haven't written much in terms of music and haven't been able to perform in forever. I'm pretty sure that's what it is. As a result of this menopausal episode, all I want to do is sit around during the day, tv or no tv, just lay around and think out loud and to myself. At night I get all wound up and excited about tv. Even playing that killing game that I was once very good and excited about seems silly and doesn't hold my interest anymore. My brain feels overwhelmed and disconnected. Blah, it's prolly just senioritis.